I have always liked my privacy and although I love the light, I have this thing, like I am being watched if the window shades are wide open. I can't help but wonder, where does that come from? and what is it I do not want "them" to see? My little production workshop/business (and for awhile my home as well) used to be in the womb (basement level) of an old carriage house down around behind and in back of a large, on the street business. It was very private. In fact, I'd often be in the middle of making a cream when out of the corner of my eye, alarmed, I'd see a customer coming and I say to myself, "Oh shit, a customer!" If the shop was closed and I was in my PJ's and someone came to the door, I'd drop to the floor and hold my breath, praying they wouldn't see or hear me and go away! Really, I was lucky if I had a customer, but it seemed that often, it was after my somewhat limited shop hours or it was when I was right in the middle of making something that required my attention. My business managed to survive in that little private space for about 15 years.
Then I sprung out of my womb into this very tall, right on the main drag, yellow Victorian home...with lots of light and big windows. I instantly fell in love with the open, airy and bright atmosphere. (Even the basement, our current WELSTAR product workshop, is light.) That was before it was not only our business but our home. We have been living here now for about 16 months. I am still in a bit of hiding, as impossible as that seems, in this front and center home. What is it "they" might see when the windows are open? ... something dark perhaps? With the beautiful sunshine we have had recently, we have taken advantage of all the light and warmth by opening the shades on the windows fully during the sunny part of the day. I have felt that wave of anxiety mixed with the soothing sensation of openness and light. I have been pushing past that discomfort to let the light in to all my dark little corners (that seem to grow worse in the darker months of the year). I watch our cats and dogs gravitate to the light and the open windows. I watch my daughter do the same. It is what we all look forward to when we begin to long for summer to come again.
How do I fully open my windows to let the light shine in? Live with self integrity and let go of ego. This is my current challenge. I offer it to you as well. What can we do to free ourselves from the chains of our ego and programmed expectations of ourselves? I can't help but sing the same song... Listen to what your Body needs and treat it with Love... Our bodies are such gifts. They always let us know when we are not living our truth. Check in with your body. What does it need? Right now I need more sun and exercise. I need more relaxation and play. I need more time for creating. I need heartfelt like minded connection.
That's it. My windows are open. You are going to see more of me. I am going to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Enjoy the light!
Be Well. Mahara
P.S.
-One of my favorite Herbal Remedies, A-B Heart tincture gets me through when I am anxious or down. My quote on the bottle, "It is those who have known the darkness who love the light the most."
-Another one of my favorite formulas I use to let the light in is Morning Glory essential oil synergy.
A hot bath always revives me, especially when I use one of my Synergies for true aromatherapy benefits.
- A book I read over 20 years ago still has so much to teach and remind me.
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